Growing up I went through different stages of confidence. There were hard years and good years. I spent most of my youth trying to find who I was and what I wanted to do. We all have times in our life like this. They can be daunting and confusing.
But being young was still a ton of fun!
At the time, I never believed it and always complained about wanting to grow up. But do you ever think back now and remind yourself of all the fun you had? I sure do! So why don’t we have fun like that anymore? Is it because you are too old for all of that? Does life really have to be that serious? The answer is a big fat no!
Meeting new people and trying to feel comfortable sometimes feels so tough and discouraging. Anxiety kicks in and we worry about what we are going to say or how we look. Yes, as a teen I still worried about those things. But now as an adult it feels a little different than it used to. What is different? Something is missing now that wasn’t there before.
Each negative experience we face can do something to hide who we are. Those experiences create giant heavy bricks that build and build until who we are isn’t there anymore. We hide behind a wall. Instead of fun and letting loose, we are scared and anxious. These walls we are building slowly bury the real us under the weight of the world. We turn to comforts like sugar, food, addictions, and sometimes literally hiding from the world. Don’t you miss being able to see yourself in the mirror and knowing it’s the real you looking back? Or maybe you started building those walls young and never got to know the real you.
Don’t you think it’s about time to let yourself be free?
Believe it or not, this is completely possible! There may be walls inside you but that does not mean you are gone for good. Gaining success and happiness in life will become so much easier once those walls come down, so let’s look at some ways to accomplish this.
1. Make a list of things you enjoy
Nothing shows the real you than your passions. Think about things you love about your life, experiences you cherish, and your talents. We all have them! Write them down! Even write down things that you haven’t done that you would love to try. These are physical traits about the real you. It’s a map to who is hiding deep in your brain. It is your portrait in words.
2. Creating your own happiness
Ok, so I have to be honest about this one. It is a common saying that I have always shook my head at. “Create my own happiness? Easier said than done my friend.” But the brain is a powerful tool. We can learn to be optimistic and look at each day with gratitude and enjoyment. Remembering things you are grateful for and trying to find the good in things will give you a better perspective. It is possible but only if your tool is sharpened, which leads to my next point.
3. Clean and repair your mind
There are many parts to this. There is the physical aspect which includes diet, exercise, and learning. The brain is a muscle and needs to be worked and nourished. How can you pull down walls inside your mind if you, the contractor, are always on your lunch break? Ok, kind of cheesy but it’s true! We cannot be lazy and expect to feel happy and free. Laziness is in reality a cage preventing you from progressing. Everything you do affects your brain. Every piece of food you eat, people you surround yourself with, and everything you say and do will affect your brain. You are building you in there. So make it a healthy you that is willing to break down those walls.
4. Remember you are unique
There are so many of us in the world, and not one of us perfectly alike. So why try to be like someone else? The real you is the ONLY YOU. It is such an amazing thing! Embrace it! Stop trying to copy others or follow someone elses path. What makes someone else feel confident and happy will not necessarily make you happy. Stick to your own passions and interests. What you are good at will compliment others and others will compliment yours. We work together as a giant team! Don’t try to change your part, because what you do is beautiful! There will be people with similar interests that you can enjoy things with, but remember that you are different in other ways. So just stick to being you and you can work in harmony with everyone around you.
5. Follow your ambitions
It wasn’t until I overcame fear and began to pursue my passions that my walls started coming down. For so long I was shut off from people and never wanted to try anything new. I hid and felt miserable. Friends I made never really stuck because I would push them away. But something changed in me. I took the first step towards my future and with my list in hand I found out what my passions were and attacked them! I made goals I could reach that gave me a step in the right direction. I conquered myself, and brick by brick my walls have started to come down. When I was younger I just loved making people laugh, and for years that had gone away. I was so serious because life had pushed me down. But just yesterday I caught myself making a joke! It was a breakthrough and I made someone bust up laughing. Boy have I missed that sound!
The real me is starting to come back. You can and will do this too! You are worth it! Just be strong, courageous, and stop hiding. Start caring about you and make that first step to get the ball rolling. For an idea on how to start your journey check out my previous blog, Physical Goal Setting to Build Confidence. One of my biggest beliefs is that physical action is one of the greatest steps we need to take in any part of our life for success.
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